my heart is full

i'm still trying to wrap my mind around it
trying to grasp the reality of the life i'm living right now
because what's going on is pretty unbelievable.
& what is to come is pretty unbelievable.


i think i have a tendency to want to understand it all at once, so i can hold it all in my arms and just sit with it for a while. but i've come to realize & accept that's not possible. i've come to understand that's not even what i want. i don't want the big picture, i want to purely exist in these moments that are so alive and are given to me. these moments, these breaths, these people, these emotions are gifts from God. i'd be missing it if i had it all. i wouldn't be able to appreciate the tenderness & intimacy of every experience and creature in my life. & that's why right now, i'm able to just sit in excitement for the journey ahead of me.


i am going to hawaii. 
i will be there in less than a week.


i'm going to meet beautiful people with beautiful souls
i'm going to smell & taste unfamiliar foods
i'm going to see things that will make me cry
i'm going to read things that will breathe new life
i'm going to experience things i'm not even ready for
i'm going to follow Jesus.


& my heart is so full.


so, i'm going.
i'm leaving. 
& because i don't like the sound of that,
we'll say i'm going on a little voyage. 
i'm just going off for a bit & i'll be back soon.

and i couldn't have done it without any of you. your words, your wisdom, your encouragement & crazy amount of support, your love that reaches to the moon, your prayer, and your faith has helped make this possible.
thank you. forever. for always. for everything.


He can move mountains.