Sunday, March 25, 2012


i am currently listening to Amos Lee & Whitney Houston at the same time. thank you boys downstairs for your desire to "dance with somebody." here's to living in community.

we said goodbye to our first team heading out for their outreach today. they're starting their long voyage for South Africa. it was so bizarre to see them leave, a little piece of my heart went with them, but that's family. the fun thing to think about is that little pieces of our hearts are all over the world with one another! mines in grand rapids, chicago, nepal, honolulu, africa, germany, turkey, china, amsterdam & the east coast. it's amazing to have this culture, this family, this worldview of unconditional love for one another. to see it lived out. God has totally shifted my heart into understanding what true family is & YWAM's culture truly shows the beauty of what it is.
that there is a culture of honor & respect for everyone
the desire to call each other higher & see one another thrive in the original design God created for us
the way each person lays their life down for one another, the servant heart, living in surrenderance 
the generosity in community, nothing is ours so everything is shared
the true love we have for each others hearts.

God has cultivated a new mindset of what family looks like. of what community is, a new heart that is understanding how to love in a whole new way. 

our team totally runs with this. 
we want to live in
laying down our entitlements
having un-offendable hearts
living in joyful repentance
focusing on the positive

and we leave in two days!
we will be leaving kona around 6AM flying to honolulu with a 4 hour layover there, an 11 hour flight to Seoul, Korea with a 3 hour layover, and then a 6 hour flight to Phnom Pehn, Cambodia & a bus ride all the way to Battambang! so we will be traveling for 25hours+bus ride. here we go!

please keep our team in your prayers!

can't wait to be there.

if you guys want to keep in contact, i will only have internet once/twice a week, so email me at: 
i would love to hear from all of you!

off to pack...

Thursday, March 1, 2012

wildhearted love

okay, i'll admit it, i've been really bad at keeping up with my blog. but i guess that's pretty obvious, my last real post was last month. people told me it would be hard to do before i left & i didn't really believe them, but man, it is. i'm so sorry. 
whenever i have free time i just want to soak it up with reading, talking with friends both here & at home, or getting all the rest i can, so blogging has kind of hit the back burner. i'll try and kick it up a notch. i do have some competition anyways. if you guys don't read Gretchen Baldwin's blog already, you should. she's a dear friend i met at SpringHill Camps in the summer of '10. currently she's in Cameroon, Africa doing some form of God given political artistic wonders or something. check out her words here: plus, she's a babe.


it's funny waking up to Koreans singing worship in the morning. you should try it sometime. not only does it make me giggle, it makes me so happy.
they sing to Jesus unlike anyone i've ever heard. they have such a freedom, such a joy & delight, and so much hope in every word. they praise Him because He's worthy, not because they feel like it. praise Him for such wonderful people. praise Him for them being my alarm. praise Him for the unity He's going to bring to their nation.

i also just need to thank the Lord for the overwhelming income of mail over these past three weeks. i can honestly say that i've gone maybe 5 days without a letter or a package the past 21 days. PRAISE HIM! He must have told you all that mail is one of my favorite things on this earth...
& i can say that i'm probably set on skirts for the next 5 years. THANK YOU SO MUCH! Cambodia here i come!!!

each one of you has shown me so much love over these past few weeks, just an abundance of it & i honestly don't know how to receive it all. on my birthday i seriously sat out on my porch and cried the most overwhelmingly-happy tears i've ever cried.
what beautiful people you are. thank you thank you thank you. (it was one of the best birthdays i've had, ps. 21 is going to be a very good year, i just know it.)


so just to let you guys know i'm not dead, i'm here & i'm learning so much.
every day is a new revelation. a new side of the unfathomable love God has for us.
that wildhearted love. 

it's opened so many things to me.
who He is
how He loves me
who I am
who He calls us to be
how to be a laid down lover
how to live in a culture of people who delight in brokenness. 
to live in joyful repentance. 
to hunger to live in humility, to want to have a starving heart, and to be addicted to loving each other radically.

because it's all about the Kingdom.
because who you are is the culture of Jesus, not what you do. 
it's all about your heart.
it's all about the Kingdom of the heart.


He's preparing me.
i can't wait to go to Cambodia.
I can't wait to go back to Chicago.
I can't wait to go back home.
to go wherever He leads me.


ps--prayer requests! this Friday is our DTS's last deadline for our finances. our team is really relying on radical acts of generosity in this time & know whole heartedly that God will provide the finances to send all of us as a team to Cambodia. please pray for this provision to come through! some people really have exhausted their options & are relying on miracles to come through. if you feel God moving in your heart to donate to our team, just click the donate button & it will go straight to them! please know that even the smallest amounts help!

pps--please be praying for health across the base! the enemy is really trying to counteract all of the goodness and fruit that is being bore here by making people incredible sick. we know that Jesus bore our sickness on the cross & we don't want our bodies to relent! please fight against sickness with us!

<< team cambodia!