i had these breaths today
these complete moments
so satisfying
so nourishing
& i was ready


i was ready and so free
i still am.

i still am.

and i'm so overcome with the beauty that you are. overwhelmed with your soul. 
the words that God has blessed you with, the emotions so easily portrayed (and yet so difficult for me to express, it's as if i stumble across these just like our conversations usually tend to do, they trip, searching for perfection and i even have a delete button, yet i am too anxious and impatient)but your words.
they are unlike any others.


they are yours.
and they are so beautiful that they fill me with this sorrow, they are so beautiful they make me weep. but am i sad? what for? i am not, those moments i'm able to treat with delicacy, they are intricate and intimate.
but i am full of this deep blue, the kind you can only find in the middle of ones soul(serene, yet wallowing).


have i held you from something? am i holding you back?
can you feel Him anymore?

into Your hands i commit my spirit.
this relationship.
i relinquish.
i submit.
i surrender.


thank you for these moments, for the joy, for the pain, for the tears and anguish, for the laughter and passion. they are just a glimpse of who You are.


may Your will be done.

into your hands i commit my spirit

if you do not long for me,

do not hold on to me.

what is it you're holding on to anyway?

for i yearn for you.

deep in my bones

from the bottom of my heart.

these breaths are excruciating.

their inhales too long to bear.

i strive for freshness

crispness.

quietness.

longing.

love.

i would like to be a child again.

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playing in my daddy's office.

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Mackinac Island, MI. i miss these days so.